Love, Loss, and the Advanced Open Water Certification

It’s almost the end of July, and little did I realize there are only 59 days left until I leave Tioman. Time really said, “Catch me if you can.”

I always get this weirdly strong sense of belonging whenever I stay somewhere for a while. I guess I’m like a human sponge — just absorb the vibes and make myself at home. I know Tioman isn’t my forever home, just a temporary pit stop on my chaotic life journey. But still, being reminded that I’ll be leaving soon feels... ouch. Like, soft emotional slap kind of ouch. Especially when you don’t even know when (or if) you’ll return.

I do think this is one of those life lessons we all have to go through — learning how to let go and be okay with temporary people, temporary places, and temporary feelings. We’re all just individuals trying to figure it out. And at the end of the day, we can’t always rely on others to fill our cups — especially when their cups are already cracked, missing, or emotionally unavailable.

Speaking of emotions: my roommate (who sleeps on the bottom bunk like a certified ground-floor resident) recently caught feelings for one of our colleagues. She even confessed! Brave queen. Sadly, he rejected her. Politely, though. No idea why — maybe she wasn’t his type, or maybe he’s secretly married to the sea. She was understandably heartbroken, and we had multiple deep girl talks about it. I think she’s slowly healing, one meme and rant at a time.

That whole situation gave me a little existential spark about love. Unrequited love sucks. Not every “I like you” comes with a “me too.” Honestly, the only guaranteed love in this world comes from Jesus. Everyone else? Flip a coin.

Anyway, back to me (as it should be) — I’ve officially told my instructor that I’m signing up for the Advanced Open Water course, paid for with my own hard-earned money. I’ve done a few boat dives, and turns out, I actually enjoy pretending I’m a majestic underwater mermaid. I even got praised for how calm and smooth I moved underwater. Graceful fish energy: activated.

With the advanced cert, I’ll be able to dive almost anywhere in the world. Which means more oceans, more adventures, and more excuses to disappear from social obligations. Worth it.

Now I’m counting down to my next off days — 30th and 31st of July — where I plan to sleep until noon, have brunch as dinner, and talk to absolutely no one. Me time: incoming.