The Road to Uncertainty

Currently, I am very anxious about what’s going to happen after I receive my WHV. Classic me—worrying about things before they even happen. But the truth is, I still have at least a year to enter New Zealand. And yet, here I am, already planning what kind of job to do there.

The first big decision? Picking the city where I’ll land. Only then can I start looking for jobs. And, of course, there’s a never-ending to-do list: opening a bank account, getting a local SIM card, updating my resume, finding a room, and—oh—getting a car too. Because, let’s be real, in some smaller areas, public transport is about as reliable as my willpower to eat healthy.

Anyway, I stayed home today because my brain decided to go into overthinking mode. So, I started researching all the problems I might face—because why not stress myself out early? And that’s when it hit me: you really can’t do much in a foreign country without a proper identity. You can’t be who you want, you can’t do whatever you want… all because you’re just some person with no official existence there. Honestly, that’s the hardest part of moving abroad—figuring out how to legally exist.

Lately, I’ve been feeling really tired and exhausted. And I think I’ve figured out why—it's probably because I reactivated my social media. Yep, classic me, making life harder for myself.

ugh

I actually brought both Facebook and Instagram back to life right before Chinese New Year. And, well, y’all already know what happens next… I see way too much on social media, start comparing my life to others, and boom—existential crisis unlocked. Seeing people out there living their best lives while I’m just chilling in my room, staring at the ceiling, wondering where my future is headed. Love that for me.

The uncertainty of it all makes me so anxious. And yet, what did I do? I applied for a Working Holiday Visa—a.k.a. Maximum Uncertainty Mode Activated. The funniest part? I actually got it. And now my anxiety might be even worse than before.

But hey, I chose this path because I wanted freedom. And the thing about freedom? It doesn’t always come with stability and certainty. So, here I am, standing at the beginning of the road I chose… and guess what? I’m the only one who can walk it. Let’s just hope I don’t trip too many times along the way.