Solo Adventures

I’m pretty sure I have a PhD in procrastination. My motivation only kicks in when the deadline is practically breathing down my neck. The funny thing? I get super anxious about procrastinating but still can’t seem to start. Classic me! And just when I thought no one could be worse than me at procrastinating, I met my colleagues in Singapore! We have a presentation for our director this Friday, and ever since last week, I’ve been rehearsing in my head. I even managed to put together a PowerPoint. We had a meeting this morning with the organizer, and guess what? My colleagues had prepared absolutely nothing. Like... literally nothing—they didn’t even know what they were supposed to prepare! The organizer had already held a presentation briefing a week before last, and I was the only one in the department who attended. And here’s the kicker: I’m the most inexperienced one—I haven’t even finished my probation yet! I wish I could be as chill as they are, but my inner self just refuses to relax. I get so worked up worrying about my performance because I always want to do my best.

some life advice...

I had dinner with my brother tonight at Jurong Point. He’s just wrapped up his third semester at university and is already flying off tomorrow for his semester break. I’m so jealous—I want to go home too! Speaking of him, we actually hadn’t been talking for a few weeks because we had a little quarrel. He’s always so busy, and after asking him out a few times with no luck, I finally got fed up. I know I’m probably being a bit unreasonable, but one thing that really gets under my skin is his attitude—he doesn’t seem to think he’s done anything wrong. After a few weeks, I started feeling less angry, and it seemed like he finally realized he did something wrong. We started talking again, but honestly, I think it's just because he’s free now that his exams are over. This cycle will probably repeat itself. 

I know I really need to learn to stand on my own and not rely on others… It’s not that hard, right? I remember seeing this funny “loneliness chart” that rates your loneliness level from 1 to 10. I’m at level 4, which is just going to the cinema alone. Level 5 is eating steamboat alone, which I’ve done once at home. Honestly, I don’t mind doing all these things by myself—it’s just the idea of people watching that bothers me. I hope no one ever reaches level 10 though—that sounds like a whole different kind of lonely!

Lonely Chart